hari yang bermakna :)

Semalam adalah hari yang sangat bermakna bagi khalis. Sebab dalam hari ini, banyak perkara yang boleh khalis banggakan dah berlaku. Terasa macam dalam mimpi pulak..haha :D

Debate | You are always right

Dua hari lepas, khalis pergi latihan debat buat kali kedua. Dan fortunately, khalis dapat chance untuk jadi pendebat ketiga bagi pihak pembangkang. Wah! Bayangkan jek la perasaan khalis masa tu?! Rasa gementar, takut, teruja sume dah campur-campur. Macam, uish..berat tanggungjawab nih..boleh ke aku buat nih? Tangan dah sejuk macam air batu. Kaki tak payah cakap la, rasa macam dah longgar sume sendi-sendi..tu baru training debat…kalau betul-betul masuk tournament mau ulang alik masuk toilet lima nam blas kali..haha XD

Pastu punya la khalis tumpu prhatian masa pihak lawan brhujah. Dah la Ms N sndiri yg jadi penilai. Makin la khalis berdebar. Lagi-lagi bila tengok dorang sume pandai-pandai berdebat. Khalis ni dah la tak pernah berdebat, tibe-tibe nak debat dengan orang dah pandai debat pulak. For sure la cuak gile kan. Pastu masa speaker ketiga dorang berhujah, khalis punya speaker first pun bisik,

Speaker 1: You look at the way she whip the point, just do the same ok? Just relax and breathe. (smile)

Khalis: Ok. What should I brief?

Speaker 1: Just highlight the clash point, and strengthen our previous point. The one me and the 2^nd speaker just talk about.

Khalis: Oh, ok. I will try.

Speaker 1: Don’t worry. You’re going to be fine. (smile again)

Khalis: (not sure smile) Sure. *dalam hati; oh, fine? Yea, right. Jantung dah nak kuar ni….-_-“

Bile speaker opposite side dah wrap up dia punya point, jantung khalis dah mula dap-dup-dap-dup tak henti henti. Kaki rasa macam dh menolak utk brdiri. But bila Ms N dh point kat khalis, khalis tawakal aje la..bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

I started stuttering, but things get better when I saw a few nods after I brief my point. Khalis dah dapat balik confident yang dah lari bercempera tadi. Haha :D Betapa nya khalis ni gila kuasa, bila dah dapat bersuara, pihak lawan angkat tangan nak potong my point pun khalis boleh cakap macam ni, “excuse me, I still have my point,” ntah dari mana dapat idea nak buat ayat macam tu, padahal selama ni xpernah pun belajar etika2 debat ke ape. Learning from observation maybe? Sebab aritu akak debator tu buat macam tu, rasa macam best pulak kalau ikut, kan? Hahaha XD and I end up receiving big claps for a simple first try. Feels better. Really.

Feeling great. Last night after debating, I thought I’m not good enough. I thought I didn’t reach her level of expectation. Bukannya khalis harap pujian, tapi at least a word of gratitude would do. Ingatkan khalis tak cukup bagus dah. But hearing the compliment, khalis dah yakin balik. Bukan sebab Ms N puji khalis, sebab khalis bangga dapat buat dia bangga. Ohhoho…I am happy, really happy.

I guess (and I KNOW :P) banyak lagi yang kena improve. Sangat banyak. Tapi khalis sukakannya. First time rasa diri sendiri sangat hebat. ~~Ahaha :D sangat la bajet disitu. Tapi seriously, sukakannya. Bukan perhatian atau rasa pujian tu, tapi kepuasan lepas kita dapat luahkan apa yang kita fikir tu yang buat kita rasa hebat. Saat tu, tiba-tiba teringat kata-kata Khadijah Hashim dalam Badai Semalam;

“Kita tak hidup atas pujian orang, tak mati atas umpat hina orang,”

…betul ke x tu? Entah la..heheh…tapi lebih kurang sama la tu maksud dia, orang boleh kata apa saja yang mereka mahu, orang boleh  dengar apa saja yang mereka pilih untuk dengar, tapi berapa ramai dari orang-orang itu yang ada di sisi waktu kita susah, berapa ramai dari orang-orang itu yang akan hulur pinggan penuh makanan waktu kita lapar? Jadi, jelas kan? Apa yang ada pada mulut orang itu tak penting, tapi sejauh mana kita mahu percaya bahawa kita tercipta lebih baik itu yang menjadi hal…so kalau boleh, khalis nak lagi peluang macam ni lain kali.

Talent | It's hidden deep inside

First time people recognize me and say, “Hey, you’ve got talent!” and you know what, it’s not easy for people to say that sincerely, and to have succeed in making people have that thought, I consider that a success. And to be able to express my feeling aloud, and impress people with the confidence, I consider that big success! Because khalis was known as a person who talk a lot but seldom express what she felt. I am. Jangan ngade-ngade nak kata, “eleh, ye ke?” or apa apa lagi yang sewaktu dengannya. You don’t know me so don’t judge me. Hohho :D khalis tetibe jadi mengada-ngada.

So, khalis tibe-tibe decide; it’s a regret. That I don’t debate earlier. But I like it now, at least I realize what I’m capable of doing. And of course, it’s all thanks for Ms N for recognizing me. Btw, is it too early to talk about this? I don’t know what others would think, but I consider this as du’a. I want to say this thousands and thousands of time, so I’d always get the spirit to do my very best on everything. And of course, succeed on it. Insha Allah 

Nota kaki~~tengah cuba buka elearning dari tadi, tapi tak dapat-dapat..hailoh…esok nak masuk lab, tapi lab manual tak dapat nak donlod, macam mana nih?!