Perkenankanlah.
Assalamualaikum :)
Been a very long time.
Yap. I know, it's been a very long time since I last posted in this blog. Shame on me self. Let me sincerely convey what I've been feeling lately.
Suram. Dull. Like I don't want to do anything anymore. Like let the life and time passes in a way it want, and nobody bother me at all, please. Sincerely. And I don't know why, or how do I turn out this way. I might have knew earlier, but I don't remember any of my reason now. Maybe I'm getting older and senile. [?]
Heartless. Yes, I'm lacking of feeling now. People might happen to see my smiling face on everything they say to me, but I guess half of them [at least] was fake. Yup. Do not question me but I understand if you'll see me differently after this post. I chose the path after all. :(
I might not be able to express well on what I thought anymore. Okay, this is the scary part. I seriously feel scared thinking of this one reason. Writing here has always been the best way of me expressing what I felt on my daily life. As a teenager, as a student, as a friend, as a sister, and as a daughter. But somehow, I felt that the trigger that used to shake every time I came here, has already gone, or might still be beating in a very slow pulse, that I can't even feel it anymore.
What had happen to me, seriously?!
T^T
"Ya Allah, maafkan aku hambaMu yang selalu tidak mensyukuri nikmat yang Kau berikan, hingga cuma sekecil ini nikmat yang Kau tarik, aku mengadu dan bersayu. Ya Allah, kalau ini satu petunjuk yang Kau suluhkan dalam jalan hidupku yang hampir gelap ini, aku bersyukur Ya Allah. Hanya dengan ini, mampu aku lihat betapa Kau tak jemu berada disisi, walau aku sering lupa padaMu, Ya Allah. Semoga dari hari ini, aku melangkah ke hadapan dengan pandangan berbeza, dengan pandangan penuh telus sepanjang jalan mujahadah yang Kau janjikan Firdausi sebagai destinasinya. InsyaAllah, semoga tidak lagi aku kufur akan nikmatMu di halangan yang menunggu di hadapan, perkenankanlah."
~Bukan kau dilupakan, tapi Allah SWT ingin kau kembali padaNya. Ingatlah.~
Nota kaki~Ingin dapat husnul khotimah. InsyaAllah. :')
Been a very long time.
Yap. I know, it's been a very long time since I last posted in this blog. Shame on me self. Let me sincerely convey what I've been feeling lately.
Suram. Dull. Like I don't want to do anything anymore. Like let the life and time passes in a way it want, and nobody bother me at all, please. Sincerely. And I don't know why, or how do I turn out this way. I might have knew earlier, but I don't remember any of my reason now. Maybe I'm getting older and senile. [?]
Heartless. Yes, I'm lacking of feeling now. People might happen to see my smiling face on everything they say to me, but I guess half of them [at least] was fake. Yup. Do not question me but I understand if you'll see me differently after this post. I chose the path after all. :(
I might not be able to express well on what I thought anymore. Okay, this is the scary part. I seriously feel scared thinking of this one reason. Writing here has always been the best way of me expressing what I felt on my daily life. As a teenager, as a student, as a friend, as a sister, and as a daughter. But somehow, I felt that the trigger that used to shake every time I came here, has already gone, or might still be beating in a very slow pulse, that I can't even feel it anymore.
What had happen to me, seriously?!
T^T
"Ya Allah, maafkan aku hambaMu yang selalu tidak mensyukuri nikmat yang Kau berikan, hingga cuma sekecil ini nikmat yang Kau tarik, aku mengadu dan bersayu. Ya Allah, kalau ini satu petunjuk yang Kau suluhkan dalam jalan hidupku yang hampir gelap ini, aku bersyukur Ya Allah. Hanya dengan ini, mampu aku lihat betapa Kau tak jemu berada disisi, walau aku sering lupa padaMu, Ya Allah. Semoga dari hari ini, aku melangkah ke hadapan dengan pandangan berbeza, dengan pandangan penuh telus sepanjang jalan mujahadah yang Kau janjikan Firdausi sebagai destinasinya. InsyaAllah, semoga tidak lagi aku kufur akan nikmatMu di halangan yang menunggu di hadapan, perkenankanlah."
~Bukan kau dilupakan, tapi Allah SWT ingin kau kembali padaNya. Ingatlah.~
Nota kaki~Ingin dapat husnul khotimah. InsyaAllah. :')
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